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Ирина Владимировна

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Funny History


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This is a video I made for my Politics Class instead of presenting the history of Great Britain.

Britain, Great Britain, Empire x4

1282 English conquest of Wales... ya, actually nevermind, nobody really cares about that, England and Wales are basically the same,
We form an alliance to conquer the Scots,
We fought William Wallace but at York we were stopped,
The Scots claimed independence, so them we'd just ignore,
While Edward III would start the 100 Years War against France, 
We don't like them much, come to think of it, no one really does,

(Britain, Great Britain) 
Greatest Empire in World History
Ruled the globe for centuries,
Like all empires, we ran out of luck,
And now we're just an island in Northern Europe,

We had a civil war about royalty or not, 
And we met a happy medium added to us, the Scots, 
We still fought over religion until we settled it in print,
Since 1701 the Monarch must be protestant,
Then we went to war with France again,
At home and in America on the Plains of Abraham,
Shortly after this, our colony in Boston,
Revolted by dumping all our tea in the ocean,

One lesson, you must take heed,
Never ever mess with a British man's tea!
We fought for years against America,
And now we're just an island in Northern Europe,

We felt like being greater, because Great Britain wasn't enough,
So we forced the Irish to join us in our cause, 
400,000,000 souls, and 10,000,000 square miles were added, 
But unfortunately for us, the Irish had had it, Because
When Eire was struck with famine, we didn't do a thing, 
Causing millions to die, and millions more to flee,
Then the Irish revolted, running their mouths, 
But the IRA only managed to salvage the south,

(Britain, Great Britain) 
Greatest Empire in World History
Ruled the globe for centuries,
Like all empires, we ran out of luck,
And now we're just an island in Northern Europe,

We conquered half the world including Africa and Asia,
So if you didn't watch your manners, Britain would come and invade you,
But while this was going on, our Empire fell,
We couldn't afford the colonies, so we made the Commonwealth,
We entered the biggest war in world history,
And we decided to blame it all on Germany, 
After this war, Germany wanted one more chance,
So we spent the next 6 years bailing out France,

(Britain, Great Britain) 
Greatest Empire in World History
Ruled the globe for centuries,
Like all empires, we ran out of luck,
And now we're just an island in Northern Europe,

Now things are cool between us and the world, except for France, we still don't like them....
We've got some problems, just to list a few, 
But you must give credit where credit is due, 
Our only problems are smokers and obesity,
Not to mention, our really bad teeth,
We have mixed thoughts on the Afghanistan mission,
And Scotland wants to leave, but we really won't miss them,
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